VS Optimism and Pessimism

Last day's discussion class was interesting. We discussed about the future of newspaper in this internet eara. The theme itself was exciting, but, before the discussion, we talked about Optimism and Pessimism. "Are you optimist? Or pessimist?" was the question. It was the warming-up talk for the class.
Some students said "I am an optimist." Some were pessimists. I was on an optimist side.
Basically I think my future life is rosy. I think I am convinced of my opinion, idea and future vision any time. So, I must be an optimist, basically. But I am not sure whether it's good or bad. My teacher Sudhan's opinion was interesting. He had been an optimist for a long time, but he is now thinking that an pessimist can be better for his/her life. Because a pessimist can become happier than an optimist if something small but good happens. An optimist tends to have a big expectation, so he/she couldn't be satisfied with such a small happiness. I can understand his opinion well.

After the class, I thought I have to modify my thinking a little, even though I told that I am an optimist. Because, for love, I can easily move from an optimist side to a pessimist side. And, actually at this moment, I am moving at random between both sides.
Afetr meeting an ideal woman three months ago, my mental conditon has been unstable. Now I can't concentrate on anything honestly. My performance of working is very low, and my English study has been stopped. Sometimes I have even physical ache around my heart( I am afraid that I can die soon.), so my performance of surfing is also bad! I can say I'm facing an mental and phisical crisis now. Very tiny things between us influence on me. Even though I was an optimist yesterday, I suddenly become a pessimist today. At the moment that I am a pessimist, I tend to drink alcohol very much. On the other hand, when I am an optimist, I can't stop drinking because it's my real happy hour. So, recently the quantity of daily drinking is becoming bigger and bigger. My liver must be damaged very much.
To make my mental and physical condition peaceful, I am thinking that I hurry to get any judgements. I should ask the woman at least in a month if we can have a special relationship or not. But, the only thing I don't know is the timing. Should I ask her it in my optimist mood or pessimist mood? And, the only thing I am sure of is that I will use alcohol power for myself.
(Mmmm, this article would be too private.)